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While my friends work their way towards becoming functional members of society, real career paths included, I continue accumulating experience in douchebag analysis, tallying up those 10,000 hours to become an expert. Unless you have a crazy Ukrainian mother who taught you the tricks of the tradeof nursery rhymes, most of the following techniques will feel bizarre, offensive, in fact, borderline inhumane. Your interest and engagement levels should swing like the Kingda Ka roller coaster ride, mounting at expedited speed and then crashing with no precursory warning. Men like beings scared, because they like boundaries. Throw in a curveball by having a friend post a picture of you having fun in the process, to really get his blood boiling! Yup, the technique you had retired in high school is now back and ready for business! Unless you have the sex skill set of Sasha Gray, he is most likely to then declare himself the winner of the Dbag Race and disappear from the horizon like an ice pop melting in the sun. You could also save your energy, find a nice guy, throw all these techniques out the window and live a happy, mentally stable life of a non-masochist.
Amy Schumer has apparently moved on from her ex Ben Hanisch – she’s “dating this new dude”!The 35-year-old comedian opened up about her past relationship on Thursday evening (June 8) during a stand-up routine at the held at Webster Hall. We [dated for] a year-and-a-half, you know, it’s not that bad,” Amy told the audience (via AOL).